Dav

So, I had to teach a discussion section this morning at 8:10, and it made me realize that I go through information very quickly. Also, I don’t like talking. All in all, I’m not a very good lecturer. I think the class lasted about 5 minutes, and even though it was only supposed to go 5 to 10 minutes, the bare minimum is not great.

Anyway, the most awkward part of teaching, as I discovered, is wrapping up the class. I told the class up front at the beginning that it was only going to be about 5 minutes long, so there shouldn’t have been any surprises there. When I was done talking, I didn’t really know how to express that they could go now, so I said something like “Okay. That’s it.” and shrugged. They kind of stared at me blankly, not knowing what to do. So I reiterated a few seconds later. “I’m done for today.” They still just sat there. Then one guy piped up and asked a question. Aha, questions! Question time is a traditional way of marking the end of the lecture. So I answered his question, then asked “Any other questions?”. When nobody had any, I just kind of turned around and started erasing the board, and I think that gave them the hint because then they left.

Normally, in a game like Monopoly, Settlers of Catan, or even Chinese Checkers, the game’s rules explicitly state that there can be only one winner. In many games, this is usually not a problem. However, in many games that we play, this can lead to very large multiplayer stalemates. Nobody wants to make the first move because doing so would use up one’s own resources to attack another, leaving the board position heavily in favor of everyone else. In my circle of friends, there is a de facto system in place in order to help end board games quickly when they are dragging on too long: the Glory system. Board games don’t have any money or anything else riding on them; but there is a certain amount of glory to be had by winning. To us, this glory can be split up and distributed as we wish.

Example, as taken from last night. Erik, Daniel, Mikix and I were playing a game of Blood Feud in New York. Somehow we all amassed all of our most powerful armies right in the middle of the board such that any one of us could strike any other person. Clearly, nobody wants to attack, leaving his own army vulnerable to retaliation from the others. So Mikix suggests to me that he and I split up the glory, 50/50. I know that if I refuse, I probably have as much chance as anyone else of winning, i.e. 25% (since there were four of us). Having an almost guaranteed 50% maximized my expected value, so I accepted the offer. I ended up winning the game due to Mikix’s first assault, allowing me to be the player that sweeped in and cashed in on the first big attack. So, according to the rules, I technically won alone. However, the rules don’t say I won anything. What I did win is glory, as agreed implicitly by the players when they start playing the game. I yielded half of this glory to Mikix. (I think I got ripped off. I should have held out for at least 60%.)

Historically, whenever glory is split up, it always seems to be between Mikix and myself, and sometimes a third person. This usually pisses off whomever else is playing the game. But they can suck it, because I have more glory than them.

Some other notable examples:
a game of Attack!.
Participants: Swifty, Max, Mikix and me.
Winner: Mikix, I think.
Glory: Mikix and me.
Very pissed off: Max.

a game of A Game of Thrones. Participants: Ben, Evil Matt, Mikix and me.
Winner: Nobody. We decided that given the board position, there was no clear winner. We had been playing for like 10 hours and did not feel like playing any further. However, what was clear was that Evil Matt was the loser.
Glory: Ben, Mikix and me.
Filled with shame: Evil Matt

I am also told just now that as I blog this, a game of Monopoly Party has just been concluded by Mikix’s brother Daniel splitting up the glory with Erik to crush Mikix. Possibly out of spite for last night. But more power to them! They just won some glory.

I visited the sex shop with my girlfriend Kayci down on Route 9 near the bridge to Northampton. Initial impression: the place is really sketchy. Also it smells horrible. I’m not sure why a sex shop would smell horrible. It’s not like any of the stuff they sell smells bad. My current theories are:
a. People have had sex in the shop.
b. People return used items that smell bad.
c. The smell has accumulated from years of near-zero ventilation.

I guess more to the point, who’s going to complain? You feel weird enough being in there in the first place. Nobody wants to spend extra time in there arguing with the owner about the smell.

I found some amusing items in the shop and decided to document them.

In case you can’t read that at the top, it says “GLOW IN THE DARK”. I’m not sure why they included that functionality. To quote Mitch Hedberg, “It’s not like the product has any integrity to begin with. It might as well glow in the dark too.”

A penis-shaped water pistol. I can’t think of any other place (other than teh intarnet) where you’d sell this other than a sex shop, so I guess it’s in the right place? But still, I don’t know who their target audience is with this one. Also in the shop but not photographed: penis-shaped pencil tops. For the back-to-school season I guess.

One positive thing I noticed about everything was the pricing. Everything had prices like $15.24, so that when you add in tax it comes out to an even $16.00. I understand that people in sex shops probably want to just pay and get the hell out, and not having to deal with making change helps with this. However, I don’t see why this is the first shop that I’ve seen do this. I’m not generally in the mood to get 87 cents back from the dude at the 7-11 either.