The results are in! I started with a list of 27 games that I and others came up with as candidates for Best Game Ever. I then gave each candidate a score between one and five in four different categories. I also assigned each game a unique award but these had nothing to do with the rankings. The rank categories are:
Screamability:
How loudly I am likely to scream if someone tells me they have never played this game.
Replayability:
How often I find (or found) myself going back to play this game again.
Holdability:
How well this game holds up to a modern audience. The first Zelda may have been excellent by 1986 standards, but frankly it kind of sucks.
Awe-Inspiration:
How likely I am to become baffled about how fucking awesome the game is while I am playing it.
The winners are:
10.
Game: Resident Evil 4
Award: Biggest Quality Gap Between Game and Prequels
Comments: The first Resident Evil was decent. But man, they really got their act together for this one. Well done.
9.
Game: Final Fantasy 3 (6j)
Award: Most Useless Multiplayer Option
Comments: Did you know that there’s an option in this game to make the combat two-player? To the best of my knowledge no other RPG has ever done this.
8.
Game: Super Metroid
Award: Most Broken Physics
Comments: The wall jump, and to a lesser extent the speed boots, allow you to get to places you are definitely not supposed to be yet. Watch the time attack, you’ll see.
7.
Game: Metroid Prime
Award: Least Creative Way to Take Away Samus’s Powerups
Comments: Additional award, most incredibly awesome way to find an invisible floating platform: noticing the rain hitting its surface.
6.
Game: Starcraft
Award: Most Skippable Single Player Mode
Comments: I really think this should have wound up higher on the list with the sheer amount of hours I pumped into it, but I stand by my scoring system.
5.
Game: Civilization Series
Award: Most Egotistical Designer
Comments: Sid Meier, you like the way your face looks. We fucking get it.
4.
Game: Super Smash Bros. Melee
Award: Most Unnecessary Details
Comments: Try having Mario hit you with his cape while you’re doing a taunt, or rolling around with Yoshi’s egg on Mr. Game and Watch’s stage.
3.
Game: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
Award: Most Misleading Title
Comments: I must have beaten this game at least 20 times and I still have no idea what part of this game has anything to do with the past. Better candidates for this title include Ocarina of Time, Oracle of Ages, and Majora’s Mask.
2.
Game: Final Fantasy Tactics
Award: Most Confusing Plot
Comments: I was originally going to give this game “greatest number of characters” but then I remembered Suikoden.
1.
Game: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Award: Most Hilarious Voice Acting
Comments: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!
Barely didn’t make the cut:
Fallout 2, Mega Man 2, Metal Gear Solid.
[...] While Dave was making his notable list of best games ever, he and I were talking about the relative difficulty of NetHack and Battletoads. I maintained that Battletoads was way harder while he favored NetHack. [...]
Disgusting! A Dav blog boycott is in order!
But on a different note, I think I remember reading the answer to you Link to the Past question in Nintendo Power. Supposedly, the Link and Zelda and stuff were different from the ones in the original Zelda: the ones in the SNES version were supposedly ancestors or something.
New post please!