Theory of Holidays

As I see it, there are three distinct classes of holidays. There are religious holidays, state holidays, and cultural holidays. Let’s have a closer look.

  • Religious Holidays:
    Christmas, Easter, Channukah, Good Friday, and all of that. The thing I don’t like about these holidays are that they get forced on us in a lot of ways. I am a hardcore atheist, so it bothers me when the whole country gets all uppity about Christmas spirit, which by itself is harmless but it’s an extension of a religion I don’t agree with nonetheless. These things would be tolerable if they didn’t work their way towards me so much. For example, at school you get Christmas break. Yeah they call it “winter break” now but you know what it really is. Separation of church and state my ass. Christmas sales I can handle, but waiting in huge lines at the mall is a pain in the ass. Families like mine that aren’t religious at all celebrate Christmas to keep up with the neighbors. It’s bunk.
  • State Holidays:
    Not quite as bad as religious holidays, but still kind of irritating. Unlike religious holidays, these state holidays actually ARE forced on us, by state mandate. Yikes! Not that I mind time off from work or school, but it seems like when you celebrate a holiday, it should be because you want to, not because it’s the law. Memorial Day, Veterans’ Day, Labor Day, etc. Does anyone even know when these holidays are? I usually get told they’re coming up or find out from a teacher that we don’t have class on Monday or something. And to my knowledge, nobody actually celebrates them. Maybe veterans or families of veterans celebrate Veterans’ Day, but nobody I know does. It’s just a pointless day off. Again, days off are nice, but these ones are kind of bland.
  • Cultural Holidays:
    These are my favorites. Holidays that started up just because some people started doing stuff and other people realized how awesome it was and started doing it too. Halloween, the 4th of July, Thanksgiving, New Year’s Eve. I love these holidays because they aren’t forced on me, and because they’re just plain fun. You get together with family. You eat lots of great food. You set off fireworks, or go to parties. You drink and be merry. There’s no dogma attached to it. There’s no cramming it down your throat. People celebrate these holidays because they like to. (One might argue that religious holidays are a subset of cultural holidays, but I distinguish between the two.)

Thus concludes my analysis of holidays. Feel free to comment or criticize.

4 Responses to “Theory of Holidays”

  1. Matt Garber says:

    I would argue that Christmas is actually two seperate holidays, a cultural one and a religious one, which occur on the same day. The religious part is all observing the birth of the savior of a religion on a day that happens to coincide with the winter solstice. Within this, you’ve got all your midnight candle services, your wisemen, miraculous virgin births, and whatnot.

    The other one, with all the eggnog, gift-giving, and pine trees is much more recent, and of a more secular bent. The presents, for example, really didn’t get going until the victorians started hanging small gifts in the tree, and that evolved over time into today’s consumerist orgy. This newer event really has jack all to do with babies mysteriously appearing in women’s vaginas, and I think should be considered seperatley.

  2. Emily says:

    I agree with Matt’s comment above. And the “Christmas” that our family celebrates is definitely cultural, not religious. We decorate a tree and visit with family but we’ve never once gone to a midnight mass or been forced to learn about biblical figures. If you will remember, our family tradition when we were younger was to read The Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve, which had everything to do with gifts and nothing to do with religion.

    But Dave, what I don’t understand is why you would be upset about this. On a national level, what Christmas means for you is that you get time off from school/work and one day you will realize that leaving work early “to beat the crowds to go Christmas shopping” is a commonly accepted excuse by your employer…. On the Dav level, what this means to you is that you get to eat perogie and receive gifts, while all the time NOT being subjected to any religious activities. Therefore, Christmas seems purely beneficial to you. That being said, what do you want this year….? A bible and naitivity set? I thought so….. ;-)

  3. Erik says:

    And what’s the deal with all these pagans forcing Halloween on me? Take your vigrin sacrificing beliefs somewhere else, pal!

  4. (_)_)======D says:

    Plus you can’t help to HATE HATE HATE that whole “goodwill towards men” part of Christmas that a lot of people have removed entirely from the context of virginal births.

    Nobody evangelizes more than an atheist.

Leave a Reply